Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Pirates of the Caribbean: Anxious Mom's Chest...

My daughters wanted to see Pirates of the Caribbean:Dead Man's Chest. I am probably one of the very few people who never saw the first one. And I had no desire to see the second.
But, Tuesday is free popcorn day at the local cinema, so I thought I would at least enjoy that part of the outing. (Me encantan las palomitas.) And then, there's Johnny Depp. Not that I'm into smudgy black eyeliner (on either gender) or gold teeth. I figured, however, that if anybody could pull it off, it would be Johnny.
Well, the popcorn was okay, but Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow was not attractive by any stretch of my imagination. I saw somewhere that his inspiration for the character was Keith Richards. Yeah, he did a good job. He basically looked like a dirty, stumbling drunk.
The movie was looooong, non-stop, foggy, far-fetched action. I could NOT handle it. Seriously. I excused myself for the last half hour, and I had been struggling with what I'll call action/sensory overload for the previous two hours. I went and did a crossword puzzle in the lobby, waiting for the girls to come out. It reminded me of when I went to see Raiders of the Lost Ark a few decades ago. I left before that one ended too.

Unfortunately, I didn't leave in time to avoid a minor anxiety attack when we went into Borders afterwards to get Erin's summer reading books and browse. It wasn't only because of the movie...but that certainly helped. The other issue was the same-old, same-old school/tuition/I'm Going To Be Broke worries..

This is what I want:
1. To find some other freaks like me who can't sit through movies like that...not just because they're bad movies, but because all that action/violence/ugliness. I just want to know I'm not alone.
2. To be able to handle life, including work, without anxiety attacks and mood swings.

BTW...I've been worried about what to do if I take the teaching job (and I really want to, if it is offered to me) about blogging and poetry. If you google my name, the top site is always SaucyVox, where I had five poems, and the word SH#T is in the second line of the first one. I'm considering using only my maiden name for future publications. For my blog, I could make it private. Any suggestions on this stuff from anyone who has a similar situation? My students will be high schoolers (and some middle school).

8 Comments:

At 8:21 AM, Blogger Sam of the ten thousand things said...

I understand your concern about the teaching position and your writing life, but I don't think you should be too concerned.

You'll have more work available on the Internet. The SaucyVox won't always be listed first. And I don't see the poems as a problem. They certainly aren't a problem from a legal standpoint.

If you want the blog private, you could do that. I don't know that would be necessary, but it's a possibility. A blog is personal in an external way, while poetry is personal, normally, in a more internal way.

I wouldn't sacrifice the writing for the job. If you do, you'll soon grow resentful of the job.

As long as you do what's needed to be effective in your role as teacher, I don't think there will be a problem. That's been my experience.

 
At 10:57 AM, Blogger lorguru said...

thanks for your wise words.

 
At 10:59 AM, Blogger Pamela V said...

I understand about the movie. I couldn't sit through King Kong, and in fact, only went to see it because we were in Yugoslavia and were running out of things to do, and there was a cinema down the street. (And theatres in Belgrade are much better then here ...assigned seats - beer and intermission.) I found King Kong to be long winded in the battle department - did the dinosaur and Kong have to fight for a full 15 minutes?

All I know is; someday my husband and I might actually be able to go to a movie that's not rated PG or G. I've seen and shelled out too much cash for every bad kids movie ever made in the past 17 years and quite frankly, I'm tired of it.
In the past month - we've seen Cars and Monster House.

I want my money back.

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger lorguru said...

I hear ya. Although I actually thought Cars was pretty cute!
"assigned seats, beer and intermission"...WOW! Sounds interesting.

 
At 1:36 PM, Blogger Pamela V said...

I liked Cars, too. I was a bit worried in the beginning, thinking it might be about car racing the whole time, but it was good in the end.


Monster House is so-so. I think the worst kids films I've been to this year were Chicken Little and Hoodwinked.

I think, if I find myself sitting in another theatre, $30 less for popcorn and tickets, waiting for an animated film to start - I might lose it.

 
At 6:49 PM, Blogger lorguru said...

I know the feeling.
At least mine are old enough now to go into one movie while I check out another one. I should have done that with Pirates, but I was looking forward to spending time with them. At only eleven they are already starting to be too independant and it makes me sad!

 
At 10:49 AM, Blogger Maggie said...

Hi Lauren,

Just finally getting around to visiting your blog. So, you are thinking about taking a teaching position? I know you mentioned to me your interest in social work or counseling, so I was thinking you were looking for work in that area. I am currently a case manager in workforce development (career counseling, making referrals to other agencies--voc rehab, farmworkers, etc.), placing individuals in training programs (Nursing, Industrial Maintenance, El Ed, Learning & Behavioral Disorder Ed, etc.), teaching them interviewing skills & resume writing, and many, many other things, and I love what I do, but I think I'll do my grad work in social work or mental health counseling. I read a few of your posts and noticed that you mentioned your anxiety. Do you have an anxiety disorder? I actually have panic disorder, and I don't think anyone can know how limiting that is until they have lived the life. I finally allowed the docs to medicate me about 12 years ago after going through so many years, months, days, hours, and minutes of suffering through one panic episode after the other. My life was defined by my disorder. I could no longer make it through the grocery store on any given day and I couldn't drive any further than 4 miles or so from my home. It was terrible (and still terrible on those days it rears its ugly head even though I am on meds and do well most days). I rarely wrote about it in my poetry, but it showed up there occasionally. I was mostly manic when I was writing all the time, but I've calmed down now. That's not necessarily a good thing.
:(
For as bad as the mania could be at times, it sure made me feel alive, but a person does some mighty dangerous things when they're in a manic mode. So, I had the anxiety thing going on, the mania/depression thing (I am not bipolar according to my docs), and I had the drinking thing going on. I couldn't take the constant fear and sense of failure, so I drank to get rid of that and to ease the anxiety and to calm me down, but that backfired on me most of the time. The alcohol did calm me down, but then I'd wake up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding. I still love my wine, but I no longer have to drink in excess to feel better.

I hope to get back to writing poetry again. I've had so little time to enjoy that in the last few years as I work full time, have a 15 year old son at home, and have been driving at least 2 nights a week for the last 3 years to get my undergrad work completed (2 hour round trip for me to get to the closest university--yuck!), but I have managed to get to some readings in the last 3 years and to some poetry workshops. I am thinking about going to Dodge this year. It would be so great!

Do come visist me again over at the farm, ok?

Best,
Maggie

 
At 6:49 PM, Blogger lorguru said...

Hi Maggie. Great to see you here!
I would love to get my MSW eventually, but I don't know when I will even be able to get started on it. I don't have the credentials to get a job in that field right now.
Yes, I have GAD. Generalized Panic Disorder, and I know exactly what you are talking about. About two years ago it was so bad I had to quit my job and I haven't worked since. I am on a new medication that helps me a lot (cymbalta) although I think I may need a little something else, too.
thanks for sharing with me! It is good to know I'm not alone!
-lauren

 

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